Little Dude

This is my little dude.

How cute is he? He waits right here every night as a I study. I love my little dude. :)

I was having a bad day today.

Well, stressful day. It's been/going to be a stressful week.

However, when I was walking home from school a group of about 10 shirtless guys ran past me. They were all really, really hot.

So now I guess my day wasn't so bad.

:)

I love this song. Plain and simple. This is hands down my favorite song ever and the Foo Fighters win as my favorite band ever. Sadly, I've never seen them live. Dave Grohl is the one rockstar I never met. I know many people who have met him and know him; they all say he is the nicest guy in the world. It's easier to pay attention to the lyrics in this acoustic version. I'm a fan of both the acoustic and the full electric version, however this version just seems to get the point across.

"And I wonder...If everything could ever feel this real forever? If anything can ever be this good again?" I've had so many nights where I've felt like this. On tour, in relationships...etc. Those nights where you have this amazing high from everything being perfect. Nothing lasts forever. I feel it's important to really savor those good moments, appreciate them, and store them in your memory vault. I like to think that when we die and our life is played back before our eyes, that it's these moments in our memory vault that get played back.

I've been working on the railroad...

...Actually I haven't been working on the railroad.

I have been working on a presentation and a research paper all day though.Why they are making us do a presentation on photosynthesis is beyond me. Photosynthesis is the most dry, boring topic in all of biology. I know it's the basis of all life, but does it have to be so boring? I decided to take a bunch of funny pictures from Memebase.org and Icanhazcheezburger.com to lighten it up. Honestly, why do presentations have to be so dry and dull all the time? And why do the "smart" kids have no personality? Lighten up a little bit. I know people look at me and think I'm dumb or a ditz because of the way I carry myself. Sorry dudes, I actually have a personality! That's something you can't "learn" from a book....Well, maybe you can? I dunno. Stand-Up for dummies?!Hmmm....

On the bright side, my research paper is on the conjugation and transformation of E.coli in the presence of plasmids. So that 's fun.

Is it gross that when I have a full day of work, I just wake up and get going? I don't change out of my pajama's and I don't even shower until the afternoon. Well, you're not a loser if you sit around all day in your pajama's doing research. Right?...Right?!?!

I get the worst post-test anxiety. After every exam I walk out thinking that I failed. If it's a course where the scores are posted online, I check to see if the scores have been updated at least 5 times a day.

Someone needs to slap me or something.

In other news, my dog doesn't have asthma! yay! He just has really bad allergies. boo. The vet advised me to give him a quarter of a benedryl a day. This benedryl has also helped calm him down when I leave so he doesn't bark as much. This is a win-win situation for both of us. :)

Also, yesterday I went to Trader Joe's to get groceries for the week. I usually do my shopping on Sunday, but this past Sunday I still had food in my fridge. I decided to stretch it until I only had the option of eating oatmeal or brown rice. I really only bought fruit, vegetables, nuts, coconut water and 2 pieces of Salmon. Well, two bags worth of stuff later and I spent $75 dollars! Granted, most of it was organic and organic really adds up. But still! $75 for a SINGLE person. Just basics. I didn't get anything fancy, I didn't get any snacks. I seriously just got fruit, vegetables, nuts, coconut water and 2 pieces of Salmon! I know I shouldn't publicly voice my opinions through any type of social media, but the government seriously wants to keep us all fat and uneducated. That's why you can buy a bunch of boxed pizza and potato chips and spend less than $20. But when you actually want to eat real food it costs you an arm and a leg. Sick people and uneducated people are easier to manipulate. And this concludes my angry rant about being a broke college student trying to live a healthy lifestyle!

(Wo)man's Best Friend

I adopted a dog the first week I moved to Tempe. Since I'm living alone I wanted a little companion who would be happy to see me when I got home, and go on hikes with me. So I adopted a 5 year old Maltese named Snickers.

I really wanted to change his name to George, however while I was trying to train him, I noticed he would only respond to Snickers. If I called him George, my training attempts would prove futile. So I started calling him Snicker doodle, Snicker-George, and now I just call him my "little dude."

I love this little dude. He follows me everywhere and he sleeps with his back against my back like a little human. The only issue I have with him is his severe separation anxiety when I leave the apartment. He barks non-stop until I return. I've tried everything, seriously. Positive reinforcement, giving him a treat before I leave, not making eye contact and sneaking out, spray bottle, this machine that emits a sound whenever he barks, and nothing has worked. I know I just need to spend more time with him and train him, but with school right now it's just not realistic.

Besides the amount of time that goes into adopting a rescue dog, I never realized how much money goes into them. All of my money has gone to this little dude. This past Friday I took him into the vet for a teeth cleaning, and I got a phone call saying he had a severe Otitis Interna due to yeast buildup. I've only had him for about 2.5 weeks, and I did notice him wiggling around on that side and stroking his head, but I just attributed that to his cuteness. I felt like an awful pet parent. How could I not know he had Otitis Interna (inner ear infection-BTW)? On top of that all, because of the infection he had developed a plug of black ear wax. My poor little dude! :( So now he is on an ear wash and antibiotic ointment regimen which he hates!

As if his ear infection wasn't bad enough, I have come to suspect that he has asthma and/or bronchitis. On occasion when we go for long walks he will heave. It's always a passing phenomena so I thought nothing of it. Today however, he has heaved 4 times in a row. I accustom this to a higher level of allergens in the air due to Saturday's sand storm (yes, I finally experienced an apocalyptic sand storm). So today I am taking him back to the vet. My poor little dude. :(

Say I Won't

The new Gaslight Anthem comes out on Tuesday and I am super excited. The Gaslight Anthem is probably one of the only bands still putting out music that I like. This is one of my (many) favorite songs of theirs.

P.T.T.S.

Post-Traumatic Test Syndrome


An anxiety disorder resulting from a test that kicked ones ass to the highest degree. Symptoms usually include depression, flashbacks, and binge drinking. 

Post traumatic test syndrome or P.T.T.S ranks highest among college students.




*Taken from www.urbandictionary.com

So Cool

Happy Monday!

I know, I know...Happy Monday is an oxymoron.

I was able to get all my studying in at a reasonable hour last night which allowed me to get a solid 6 hours of sleep. I'm feeling pretty darn good this morning! I woke up at 7, did an hour of review, took the dog for a walk and got ready. I'm even wearing a pretty dress. Why am I wearing a pretty dress to my Biology exam of doom? I take my logic from Dropkick Murphy's sound guy...

When I was on tour with Dropkick Murphy's their sound guy always wore a suit as he did sound for their set. When we asked him why he always dressed up, he said "when you look good, you feel good, and you perform your best." So I'm wearing a pretty polka dot dress to my exam and anyone who has an issue with that can shove it! I'm determined to obtain a super high score on this exam since my professor speaks to me as though I am a 6 year old child who doesn't understand English.

I have a tradition of coming home after an exam, cleaning up (because when I study, I don't clean), making myself a nice dinner and then going to bed early. It's sort of my treat to myself. Tonight I invited my one friend (hey, I've only been here two weeks!) here in Tempe to partake in the dinner portion of my post test dinner tradition. Now my one dilemma is to make Irish Car Bomb Cupcakes or not to make Irish Car Bomb Cupcakes? Why does life have to be so complicated sometimes? ;)

You Are My Sunshine

I can't get enough of this song. I wish I could find a version of this on vinyl. Every night I sing this to my dog and although I doubt he understands, I hope he feels the love in it. This song is so pretty that if I ever got married (in case you didn't know, I'm considering becoming a Doctor nun...but that's a whole different blog), I would want to play this song at my wedding...




...or this song.



...or both!

Week 1

I've been meaning to post about school, being that I started at ASU exactly a week ago. However, I really don't know what to write. School is school. I won't know if it's "difficult" until the first exam on Monday. I feel as though I have a pretty good handle on everything.

One thing I will tell you, is that this heat is ridiculous. I walk to school everyday, since you can pretty much see the campus from my apartment. Walking 3/4 of a mile is not bad at all. Unless you are doing it in an average of 108 degree heat. I come home drenched in sweat every day and no amount of sunblock is enough. I've begun to take three baths a day. The first is my early morning bath in sunblock, followed by my afternoon sweat bath, and I end my evenings with a lukewarm shower. Like I said in my last post, I have literally MELTED away 10 pounds in the week I have been here. So I suppose that is a plus!

So I lied, I guess I do have something I want to post about. This is probably going to be a downer, but the reason I set this blog up was to be realistic and honest about my educational experience so that one day I can look back on my struggles and accomplishments.

I've been finding myself experiencing freak outs of grandeur as of late. More like extreme self-doubt, and a looming sense of failure. I've said it before, and I'll say it again, but I am no genius. I'm a retard pretending to be intelligent. While I have done and am doing extremely well, I still have this little voice in the back of my head telling me that I'm not going to survive this and that I will never get into Medical School. One thing that really upsets me...Well, not upsets. Irks me rather. One thing that really irks me, is when I do have these feelings of self-doubt, and people tell me "you can do it", "it's ok, you're gonna do fine!" or "you're smart, don't give up!" Really? I know in "theory" I can do it and I'm smart. When people try to give me pep talks I really just want to say "F*$# you." Not that I'm an angry, ungrateful person. I actually consider myself a very happy, appreciative person. It's just that sometimes I want someone to validate my feelings. Sometimes I just want someone to tell me that what I'm doing is hard, scary, and sucks!

So here I am. Preparing for this first exam. Which I am mortified of. I always freak out before the first exam and the final exam. Am I just neurotic? I remember before my Physiology final I was freaking out and one of my friends said to me, "you always freak out before the final, but you always get an A. I think you can afford to chill out." I think I really do need to chill out.

I don't know what it is. I've always had this fear of failure. Even when I was in Rocket and Civet, I always had a feeling that I was on the chopping block. I always had a feeling that I was going to be cut. The same is true in terms of my academic career. I always have a feeling that I am going to fail. No matter what I do, I can never shake that feeling.

However, failure is never an option.

I am currently trying to studying in the midst of my first monsoon. It looks as though the lightening is striking right in front of my balcony. I had no idea it was even going on. As I was studying, I thought I had seen random flashes of light through the window, but just assumed I was having hallucinations from studying too long. Then out of nowhere, it was as though the clouds burst and it began to rain. This was followed by wind. I just wish I wasn't alone during this storm.I do have my dog, but all he can really do is wag his tail and look cute. :(

In other news!

Due to the immense heat, I have literally melted off 10 pounds. MELTED. Seriously ladies. Looking to loose those last 10 pounds? I've devised a special miracle diet! Spend a week walking a mile to and from school in the Arizona heat and melt those pounds away! This diet is currently under Patent Pending.

*during the time I wrote this, we had rumbling earthquake like thunder.

**during that last note, I could have sworn I saw lightening strike sideways.

:(