I think my I must have lived during the 1920's & 30's in a past life. I LOVE everything from this era.

We should be smarter

I Love Jawbreaker

It's very rare these days I find a band that actually inflicts some sort of emotion in me. I remember as a kid I would go to shows and come home inspired to play music. Not the case any more. Now I go to shows and I'm happy I left that scene. But every now and then I will hear a song or a band and miss it (once in a rare while). Today for some reason I began to miss music. Maybe it's the beautiful weather. Or maybe you can take the girl outta punk rock, but you can't take the punk rock outta the girl. No matter what, this is how I grew up and what I will always identify myself with. Even if I wear Calvin Klein cardigans and BCBG dresses now. I still associate and relate to the kids with the pink hair and torn fishnets. In my History of Rock and Roll class I made it a point to sit next to the crust punk kid with Aus rotten and Iron Maiden patches on his jean jacket with the sleeves cut off DIY style. I started asking him if he liked certain bands and he looked at me amazed that I knew some of the bands he liked. When he asked me how I knew of these bands I informed him that I was just like him at his age. I said "I used to dress just like you. Pink hair, patches on my jacket and everything." He looked at me in shock like I had just murdered someone and exclaimed, "WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?!!" I couldn't help but be amused. Funny how we grow up and change so drastically. This kid also told me that "he was going to stay like that forever." I just nodded, and in my mind thought "we will see."

Check out the crazy things I used to do to my hair!

When It Rains It Pours!

Today I received my admissions packet from DePaul University in Chicago. So far i'm 2 for 3, with my USF application still pending a letter of recommendation. I honestly did not believe I would get into any school this semester with my awful academic past. I guess it just goes to show that hard work pays off. While I haven't reached my goal of straight A's, a 3.8 average in the year I've been back is still pretty good. I hope I can maintain that as I move to the next level where I will take all of my pre-med requirements.

This is really exciting. My whole life I never thought I was too smart. Now, I've realized I'm still not very smart. Honestly, I'm kind of a ditz. I just have a strong, diligent work ethic. When I have a goal, I have tunnel vision in achieving that goal. This is the number one trait that I believe has lead me to all my amazing life experiences. I am not the smartest person in the world and I'm definitely not the most talented. I think Conan said it best on his last episode of The Tonight Show, "If you work hard, and you are kind, amazing things will happen for you."

I hope everyone can realize that there is nothing holding us back from achieving our wildest dreams other than ourselves and our own insecurities. If you would have told me 10 years ago I would be admitted to 2 competitively ranked universities as a Science/Pre-Med major I would have laughed and said "yeah, whatever." But here I am. Diligently working away, semester by semester. I can say with utmost confidence that in approximately 6-7 years, I will be a Dr. Vanessa Guzman M.D.

:)

memebase.com

Return of the Phoenix

Found out I was admitted to ASU today. Majoring in nutrition on the pre-med track. Go me!

This is an awful video to a great song. Poor Katy Perry, really. What a nightmare to have to go through a divorce in the public eye, meanwhile your ex husband is bashing you and already sleeping with other women. Honestly, at this point I often ask myself "what's the point of getting married?" With 60% of all marriages ending in divorce, what is the point? The idea of Happily Ever After is a fairy tale packaged to all little girls in the form of Disney movies. Girls grow up thinking that "one day their prince will come" and life will be great. Then we live real life and find out that when our prince comes, he also comes with a drinking problem and communication issues.

Marriage is work, relationships are work and if two people aren't both willing to work at it, then it will fail. It's easy to point the finger at one person, but it takes two. I get asked a lot why I am single. Out of all my friends, I am the girl who is perpetually single. I've only had two serious relationships in my life. Sure I've dated here and there, but I don't believe in wasting time. Mine or someone else's. I would never date someone just to have a person there to spend time with. There's a saying in Spanish "Mejor sola que mal acompaniada," which translates into "better solo than with bad company." I have seen so many people stay in awful relationships because they are scared to leave or believe they will never find someone else. I think being in a relationship that is going nowhere is hell. Even if breaking up is hard to do, it's better to be miserable on your own than to be miserable in the company of another person who is miserable. I have great friends, a great family, and I don't need to have a boyfriend to boost my self-esteem. I've never believed in bouncing from relationship to relationship. If you are bouncing from relationship to relationship how can you grow as a person and not commit the same mistakes you committed in your previous relationships?

I do think about marriage sometimes, and I really don't think I can see myself making such a commitment. Both of my serious ex-boyfriends turned out to be something different than what I thought I knew them as. I hate that feeling. I hate investing so much to try to make things work while the other person can care less. I hate that feeling of being taken for granted and unappreciated, it's the worst. I don't buy into the "happily ever after" fairy tale. How can you make a promise to love someone until the day you die? That's like saying I will always love Ice Cream. What happens if one day ice cream does me wrong and keeps me throwing up all night? I would probably stop loving ice cream! I can't imagine going through a divorce after 25 years of marriage. How do you move on? I know everything worth anything in this life is worth the risk. I've taken huge risks in my life, but risks I can control and I've been in the drivers seat of. I really am not interested in taking such a huge risk as getting married and then divorced. I've taken a risk by giving up everything in pursuit of a degree in medicine...That's a big enough risk for me.

Photosynthesis

"I'm happy and I'm settled in the person I've become..."

I found this video when I was looking up Photosynthesis lectures for General Bio on YouTube. I find it interesting that he refers to a song about growing up as photosynthesis and it got me thinking about the metaphor.

In photosynthesis, plants take our waste (and light energy) to produce or synthesize Oxygen and Glucose (chemical energy). Plants take our byproducts to produce elements and molecules that are vital to our survival and development. This can symbolize life to an extent. I often think about all the awful experiences we as human beings have to endure. Life is not easy and human beings can be cruel. However, if it wasn't for the awful experiences none of us would be who we are today. I once read a study stating that people who have experienced loss, or hardships are more likely to be happier than people who have not. Reason being, you learn to appreciate what is important. It's in times of turmoil and hardship that we grow as individuals. If I had a perfect childhood I don't think I would have had the motivation to work as hard as I have to reach my goals. Most people who accomplish great things in this life have not had it easy. It's through the taking in of such negative byproducts that we as human beings are able to produce something great. They allow us to grow into our full potential, and in a sense photosynthesize. However, instead of taking light energy and converting it to chemical energy we take negative energy and convert it into productive, positive energy.

Photo Dump 2.0

Backstage (a.k.a. the bathroom)

I was given this award on my last day of work before starting school. :)

The Zitadel in Munich. Backstage was a museum rich with real WWII history.

Watching Bad Religion from the side of the stage at a festival somewhere in France.

Pretending to party at 10 am in France. The bottle wasn't open and if I want to be a doctor I should probably delete his picture! :-/

The Vatican.

My dog Mozart when he was a puppy!

This is where the Romans set the lions free to feast on my people.

I waited all day (and my whole life) at Reading and Leeds to watch the Get Up Kids!

True Story. One time I played a festival with Gwar but was too sleepy to want to watch them.

Photo Dump

Random photos from my phone.

(Prague, Czech Republic)

Watching Rise Against from the side of the stage thanks to my friend Buck!

The happiest Panda in the world. At the San Diego Zoo. (I imagine this is what it would feel like to bathe in spaghetti)

I met Elmo and Cookie Monster in Las Vegas. After this photo I won $200 dollars.

An awful photo of Moby putting on his jacket. I see Moby every time I am in the Silverlake area. Does this qualify as us "seeing" each other?

Recycle, Reduce, Re-use your Tequila bottle as a candelabra!

Hoola-Hooping at Target.